The man in question

Man Snorting Coke From Breasts Of Pallid Whore Pleased To Hear He’s A Wealth Creator

53-YEAR OLD CAPITALIST John Young briefly put his depraved orgy of coke and perverted sex on hold last night, after being told how crucial to the nation he really definitely is.

“At first I thought living a life that’s unimaginable to most and trying to buy happiness might make me a worse person,” said Young. “For about five minutes! Then I was reminded that for every whore I dismember after a night like this – only joking darling, carry on doing what you’re doing – 20 police jobs are guaranteed for a year. Plus there’s the wages of the men employed to fish her corpse from the Thames. And the wages of the undertakers. And the export duty on her remains when she’s shipped back to Slovenia.”

“I’m just really glad that I’m able to help the underclass by making all this money – trickle-down economics, you know,” he added, smearing a cracker with panda kidney relish, a food which tastes terrible but nonetheless is very, very expensive.

“Yes, I might be avoiding tax, but if I weren’t, then who would be paying my tax avoidance advisers? They must earn loads. Imagine the tax they pay on that!”

“Actually I think they avoid the tax on it too – but same again.”

Related News

Comments are closed

Copyrıght 2013 FUEL THEMES. All RIGHTS RESERVED.