THE COMPANY YOU WORK FOR launched a brand new STI-awareness campaign on Monday, with posters and seminars designed to remind all employees of the dangers of unprotected and promiscuous sex, but mostly Karen, to be honest, as she’s the only one who isn’t getting the point.
“We’re glad to educate our employees about keeping healthy in a workplace environment – and yes, that includes sex!” said company MD, Nigel Bronson. “Some of our initiatives include putting a bowl of free condoms on one employee’s desk at random”, he said, placing the bowl on Karen’s desk, “and a poster campaign by the water cooler,” which is directly in Karen’s line of sight.
“Some might think this campaign is a waste of our money and time”, said campaign co-ordinator Ian Wesley, in an email which started ‘Dear All’ but was in fact sent only to Karen. “But I say, if it saves just one person from being a total slut and ending up with God knows how many diseases, then we’ve changed things for the better.”
“STI awareness is important,” commented an anonymous employee. “Especially if you’re Karen.”