SENIOR FIGURES in the Metropolitan Police Force are said to be “extremely disappointed” at the failure of their strong turnouts at recent protests to change anything. “We’re at every single one,” said DCI Frank Turner, mournfully. “Fighting the cuts, calling for tighter financial regulations, opposing the war…you name it, we’ll be there supporting it, come rain or shine, in disproportionately massive numbers. But it’s like people just don’t want to know.”
Police also claim that their actions at protests are frequently misunderstood: “Giving people serious injuries makes sure the protest gets noticed, so we’re not stopping that any time soon, but it’s disappointing when the media focus on that side of it instead of our serious political message. Anyway, the student’s collarbone was a metaphor for the benefits cap! Haven’t journalists heard of symbolism?” said one officer, who wished to remain anonymous.
Many are said to be increasingly resentful at the lack of positive coverage of the police presence at protests, particularly when contrasted with the media focus on the actions of the tiny minority of non-uniformed protesters.
“Name any other section of society that’s showed their commitment to progressive politics in the same way that we have,” DCI Turner commented. “Paramedics? Ha! As if a few of them running into the protest late in the day shouting at us to get out the way shows any sort of solidarity with the cause. And then they just rush off straight away, taking some of our fallen comrades with them, not even asking if they want to leave. Now that’s oppression. And don’t even get me started on the bloody coastguard.”