Famous person wants wife to swing by Asda for some cheddar, says anonymous definitely-not-voicemail source
UNDERGROUND MAGAZINE can exclusively reveal that an extremely famous person needs his wife to get to the supermarket before it closes tonight because he “quite fanc[ies] a cheese sandwich darling”.
The information, obtained through an anonymous source which is definitely not a recording of the celebrity’s voice left on his wife’s phone, reveals that the very famous person occasionally likes to eat a cheese sandwich and probably already has bread at home since he didn’t mention buying any. Additionally, he usually “loves” Branston pickle but doesn’t feel like it today.
The anonymous source introduced his information with the cryptic line, ‘For more options, please press hash.’